Work is Hellish, Health Bennies Are Heaven

So yesterday was my first day back to work after a week of medical leave. God what a joy it was to have that much time for rest and convalescence! I soaked it all up and my spirits were soaring by week's end. I read four books, finished three knitting projects, and stared out the window at blue skies and greenery when I wasn't sleeping or napping with the cat curled up on my bed.

Yes of course I was in some pain for the first several days after going under for outpatient surgery on July 20, but that discomfort was nothing compared to what I've endured emotionally for the past year at what was once a dream job. I can now completely understand the frightening truth in phrases like, "I'd rather be boiled in oil than ever work with that person again." I also understand what it means to have one's hopes completely dashed.

I dreaded going back to work, but comparatively speaking, the day wasn't really so bad. I didn't receive any emails berating me for being a less than perfect human being or for having an unacceptable tone in my voice. I didn't receive any criticism for failing to provide the desired result when presented with an impossible task. I wasn't asked to be anyone's surrogate in doing their dirty work. I was, blessedly, left alone to be on hold with Time Warner Cable for one hour. And if holding for an hour with Time Warner sounds good, then you know how bad other scenarios could be.

The primary reason I haven't given notice is because of the health benefits, thanks to which I received excellent care at Cedars Sinai on the 20th and then had a whole week of paid leave to recover. I am Thank-You-God grateful for those things. I fear for any American who does not have health insurance or who has to go into debt to pay medical bills (check out today's lead editorial in the New York Times for info on what happens to Americans with a load of credit card debt).

But what if the job itself is making me sick? What if the rudeness, the bullying, the micro-managing, the faultfinding, the nitpicking, and the criticizing of an empowered management-backed control freak in the mix is making me sick? This is what they mean by abuse of power. Would it not be better to quit and take my chances with penury than endure this indefinite assault on my integrity, emotional well-being, and peace of mind?

Well, I'm working that out with my therapist. Fortunately, my health benefits cover up to $60 per visit up to 20 visits. We should have it all sorted out by year-end.